Top 9 reasons a man will drink

With our name, we know drinking. After discussing issues with the staff and readers and just people out there, we came up with a top nine reasons a man will drink. It ain't pretty, but it's real. Everyone one the reasons is a real reason we have heard from people over the years. Uh, yeah, that's right. Here we go.

9) Your brother-in-law moves in for a few days until he gets his court case settled. He tells you to ignore all those deputies looking for him.

8) You son in law asks you if you can cover the bad check he wrote to the church in the offering plate last Sunday.

7) Your wife says, “Never mind Jose being naked. It helps him cut the grass better.” She goes on to say, "yes, I know there is no grass to be cut on our living room couch, but it helps him concentrate."


6) For whatever reason, your college buddies think that you actually want to see an email of the most perverted thing that they have ever found on the internet. What really gets you to pour a shot is when you call a college buddy; his wife answers the phone and then asks, “how did you like that video we emailed you? I worked hard on that.”

5) A cousin you have not heard from in years calls you and starts off the conversation with “you are still a lawyer, right?”

4) Your 15 year old daughter tells you she learned all sorts of new things on her first day at school and then asks, “where can I get a dental dam really cheap? Jim Bob asked me out.”

3) Some guy in a sedan shows up and says, “We are from the government. Congratulations, you have been selected for a special one on one meeting with Speaker Pelosi and President Obama.”

2) After you recover from a heart attack, you find out while you were in the hospital that your buddies drew straws on who would have the first shot at your wife.

1) As a resident of South Carolina, Governor Mark Sanford keeps blaming you for why he won’t resign and leave us alone. He hints at showing up at your doorstep.